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Friday, August 21, 2009

~ the proper motion of time


It was a joy to look back over certain history - rather than forward, in trepidation, with gnawing heart, towards an unknowable future. Every other time I’ve sung on stage, the experience has been weighed down, at least to some extent, by questions that just didn’t need an answer last Sunday.


How will the audience respond to our music? Will it please them? Does it please us? Is it time to make music that pleases them but which might not necessarily please us? How many people are here because of the support band? Will my pants split? Where do I rank on the ladder of cool? Are my balls visible? Am I too stoned to sing? Am I too drunk not to sing? Can I really sing at all? Can what I am doing technically be termed ‘singing’? Who can I fuck? Can Nick Cave ‘sing’? Is the crowd dense enough to dive on? Who can I fuck without alerting my girlfriend? Am I being true to myself? Who can I borrow money off? Is my father turning in his grave? Is what I’m doing ‘art’?


What will the record company think? Can I hear myself? Is the bassist having parallax error on his fretless? Why can’t I remember the lyrics? Will anyone notice? Have I actually written any lyrics? Is the solipsistic keyboardist riding a wave of his own grandeur? And my hair? Oh god! My clothes? My shoes? How fat am I exactly? Am I going to trip over a cymbal stand? Is the mike lead going to fall out? What will I say when the song’s over? What will happen if I pour beer into the foldback monitor? Is it obvious that the bassist is incompetent? Is there a polite way to tell him not to do that thing with his neck? Will we ever succeed? Are we succeeding now?


Is the drummer an amphibian? Is the guitarist going to stop playing and eat the Chinese meal steaming on top of his amp? Who can I score off in the audience? Is the keyboardist really eating an hallucinogenic omelette? Where is my beer? Why is that guy smiling at me like a self-satisfied sphinx? Does my howling sincerity come across as lame? To what extent am I completely deluded …?


I don’t know that I was ever quite so neurotic, but you get the picture. On Sunday, all that shit, it just didn’t matter – not to us, not to the audience - we were permitted to just enjoy the day, the music, the people and it was an absolute fucking pleasure that I’ll carry with me to the grave.



(photos by Brendan Young)

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9 comments:

Marshall-Stacks said...

but I love that neck-thing that all bass-players do.
and 2.
yep - 'to the grave'.

It was a CONFLUENCE of factors.
A unique moment - and I feel sorry for those who missed it, having to listen to descriptions of how good it was, by those who were there.
A bit like The First Time Round really.
WE now have an equivalent to the historic First Four Hundred of New York City:
the 16/8 Corner Gig 400..

rockpool73 said...

You're right Sam - it was an absolute fucking pleasure. Thanks for the experience.

Jadey said...

It's so fantastic to see all this happening for you Sam! I've got my boxed set of DIS on order and can't wait to see 'We're Living On Dog Food'. Wish I could've seen the gig, looked amazing from the Youtube vid I saw. Well done and congratulations.

casjumbo said...

Sooooo privileged to have been there!!!

"part of the 16/8 Corner Gig 400"

(and soooo happy to see myself jumping around behind the tall people, immortalised on that day too, near the front in the 'Dogs in Space' footage from Sunday :D )

Sam Sejavka said...

A week later and it seems like a dream ... thanks, all.

edgar said...

thanks Ears, it was great seeing you again, screaming during the crater, catching up with Holy Family people like Ann Harding and Mick's brother as well as Debbie Dinosaur and other Crystal Ballroom people like the Higney twins (we're in Punkline). We mozzed St Kilda but onwards we go. I wish Delicatessens would've played.

Matt etc said...

Hi Sam
I'm really glad that I came across your blog(via Sk's Blog), I've been reading it all day, you are quite the exceptional writer. I wanted to come to you show - but I live in Brisbane these days, although I am a Melbourne boy (grew up in Blackburn South) not that far from you. I'm also an old St. Kevins boy, though I didn't get my HSC from there, they kicked me out for being an academic failure, although now I'm studying law or rather trying too, strange huh(I think that school damaged me for a long time).
Somewhere in the mid nineties I saw you at The Continental cafe in Greville St at the launch of SK's Narcosis ablum. I really enjoyed your act, you told this amazing story, I can't recall that much, but it was something to do with secretary, dumpster and a shoe, I think. After the show I had the privilege of having a smoke with you and SK. It was a night I will always remember. At the time I had no idea about you and 'Dogs in Space' I loved that film, its been great to read your blog and find out what was fact and what was fiction.
Anyway I think you are a really fantastic writer and I look forward to reading more (I reckon there'd be a market for a full autobiography - I'd buy it)
I would donate, but I don't have any cash being a student. Hope you get some from the film though, I will definitely be buying the DVD can't wait!
Cheers Matt ( oh if I don't comment it doesn't mean I'm not reading your blog I'm just slack alot of the time.

Special K said...

Yes.

lily was here said...

long live the era and the Ears!

xxx