Tuesday, May 19, 2009

* 9 June 1981 Tuesday 2.00am

After hours of instruction from my mother, I’ve come to believe that my life is hopelessly fragmented and only partially realised – and empty.

Everything I do is rough and in minute quantities.

When I begin to write, I find a lack of opinion, vision and imagination.

I must examine how I look at life now – establish my views – know myself.

I have not discovered myself through excess. I will try through the ruthless application of my will.

I know the idea of ceremony, ritual is coming into my writings – the means we use to disguise, and implant with false importance, the things – perhaps all things - which are in reality meaningless. This human ceremony must be believed by all. Or else the very possibility of thought ignored …

Organisation. Completion of demanding and exacting tasks.

I am going to attack my goals now with commitment and zest – and with reckless bravado.

I’ve not drunken alcohol for two nights now.

I wrote the music for a song tonight.


Oh, the dreams and ambitions of the young. If I had followed through with the sentiments of this diary entry, I may have become king of the world. Instead, I became victim to my foibles and my immoderate appetites. Not that I didn’t make a lot of noise along the way.

The second night of Snatches went well, though I was tired and it’s hazy in my memory. I spent at least two hours chewing the cud in the dressing room with Frank. Sadly, I forgot my camera, but I did bring it to the football on Sunday afternoon, where I took this picture.

Yesterday, I spent a long hour with my solicitor, who scared me out of my wits on a number of fronts. Thankfully, Lynne was with there to take notes and calm me down.

Stumble Upon Toolbar DiggIt!


Anonymous said...

good luck

Ann oDyne said...

yep. solicitors can be scary, and on a number of fronts, their punch-line being the scary account rendered.

Sam Sejavka said...

It appears to be a slow sucking procedure. Slow because the virus does not want to kill the host, nor the ant the aphid.

Mind you I seem to have caught a reasonably good one as far as it goes