Tuesday, March 11, 2008

~ an exercise in physiognomy

The science of physiognomy [or face-reading] has long been discredited, but it retains a certain curiosity value. In my possession I have a book entitled ‘Character Reading From The Face’ by Grace A. Rees M.B.E. The author freely admits that physiognomy is not an exact science, yet feels certain that its use ‘in several ways, is both of the utmost importance and interest.’ Particularly, she says, in the field of vocational guidance.

Samuel Wells, a leading authority on physiognomy, explains its scientific basis. ‘The cranial nerves rooted in the brain, spread, along with muscles, over the face. These nerves and muscles effect and make expressive the facial features.’

Let us then, for interests sake, apply the rules set forth in the book. As I have given much contemplation in these past weeks to the fortunes of Eddie Groves - CEO and founder of ABC Learning, the behemoth of privatised childcare – I shall use him as the subject of a brief study.

First let us regard the overall appearance. ‘When the body is plump, and flesh rather than bone predominates, the Vital temperament is indicated. The body is round likewise the face, neck and chin.’ This seems to clearly apply to the subject. ‘This rotundity denotes vitality, resilience and stability, “Let me have men around me who are fat,” said Shakespeare. Conviviality is the keynote of this disposition.’ But be warned, ‘this temperament needs to have signs of self-control in the features, otherwise love of good living may get the better of the subject, Look out for this in the formation of lips, jaw-line and width of mouth.’

Very well …

Groves’ distinctive mouth does indeed provide a bounty of information. The book instructs us, interestingly, that ‘ a love of money, greed and a desire to hoard will lift the upper lip, exposing the centre teeth – with a decided droop at the mouth corners.’ Groves’ mouth appears to conform very closely here, but the following seems also to have relevance: ‘protruding full lips, loosely closed suggest a boastful disposition, large gustatory desires and unrefined, even coarse, tastes.’

It is said that ‘intemperance, sensuality and unbridled appetites mark the mouth indelibly. Muscles definitely slacken when passions are allowed to sway the whole nature.’

A somewhat short round chin is easy-going, warm in affection but not passionate. There will be a fondness for kissing, a desire for marriage and children.

Much could be discerned from a profile view - the positioning and shape of the ears, the angle of the jawline can be very indicative - but as I do not have access to one, I shall have to work with what I have. Groves does appear to have a relatively weak jaw line. People with weak jaws are 'often the tools of disreputable, bad companions’.

Groves seems to have light bluish eyes. ‘A light blue eye in an adult indicates a nature likely to philander, that is inconstant in attachment and emotionally capricious.’ He is slightly heavy-lidded, which would suggest a reticent, reserved nature; receiving confidences, but giving none in return. The general puffiness of the area and the underlying bags may reinforce the suggestion of intemperance mentioned with regard to the mouth.

His eyebrows are darker than his hair – therefore strong feelings, passionate intensity, force of character and ardour are indicated. Their ruffled nature suggests irritability and quixotism.

Groves’ ‘boxer’s’ nose does not conform to any of the general types described in the text, although a ‘broad base from root to tip shows that the mind is logical, solid and enduring. On the negative side, ‘thickness in the breadth of the nose just above the wings of the nostrils is a sign of acquisitiveness and love of gain.

I am afraid Groves’ lack of wrinkles are not a good sign. ‘Self complacency and self-centredness may save you from having wrinkles. An insipid nature and a frivolous, mediocre mind will not acquire wrinkles until later in life.’ His light hair colour belongs to a demonstrative nature, perhaps with a love of ostentation and fickleness with the opposite sex.

How one combines this information into a meaningful whole is anyone’s guess - but here and there, to my mind, it reveals more than the odd flash of truth.

~ eddie groves' evil empire
~ more pernicious mischief from eddie 'the milkman' groves
~ the sweet death knell of ABC Learning

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princey said...

Ha ha, I love this one Sam, you really have it in for this guy! But you've let him off lightly I reckon, there's surely more eeevil to be revealed from that dishonest face, something about the shape of those eyes and that snarl....yeek!

I do believe though, that the face (especially eyes and mouth) reveals so much about a person, I want to get my hands on that book when you're finished!

Thanks for the laugh Sam.
Love Amanda

lily was here said...

Very interesting observations Sam, I think I'll remove any photos just in case you decide to study your readers!

love S

Sam Sejavka said...

Well, I had to stick to the book. I didn't want my own prejudices to interfere. [Jenny's first comment was that he was definitely a Mama's boy]. That said, it is certainly not the sort of face I would trust.

My mum used to say that the older you get the more your character is expressed in your face. It's true, isn't it. All the smiling, the frowning, the sneering...

And don't worry, LWH, I won't do any more 'readings' [unless, of course, another deserving victim comes along. Beware, arseholes of this world!]

dysthymiac said...

no knowledge of physiognomy required to come to the conclusion that it's a face one might easily slap.

great post!

lily was here said...

He looks a little bit like J Farnham!