Generally, I don’t have much truck with censorship, but I have to be careful with this ancient diary [and, indeed, the current one] – especially when names are mentioned. Basically, I don’t want to hurt or abhor relatives and friends who nurture sweet memories, nor do I necessarily want to freak out any net readership.
Upshot is, I’m going to blank out some ‘sensitive’ passages. Use your imagination…
I’ve also corrected some uses of uncouth US spelling.
This second diary entry was made late on the same day as the first.
*
And so I rush to the kitchen and frantically paint, feverishly adding to my film jungle, not daring to stop and think what else I could be doing – what other constructions I could be involved in – forever thinking of phrases to supplement this diary.
I don't think this cataloguing of myself is self-indulgent. I take far too little time, of late, to examine my actions. The diary will hopefully help me keep an eye on myself – rejuvenate my hold on myself, my vision of myself.
Or is that all passed now, with my adolescence? I suspect it may be, though I cannot be sure.
My memory for instance. Once, when I fashioned a sentence... I cannot remember having the trouble I have now of forgetting how the terrible thing began as I came to its conclusion…
Grammer! There must be something wrong...
As my group [The Ears] becomes more recognised, so do I. And in this way I learn to recognise myself... Again, after first I lost my dignity... my self-esteem... when I bared my naivety to those naïve faces... But only music. Not even that, I suppose…
[? The above paragraph may refer to some event my earlier self was so embarrassed by he could not bear to put it into words.]
I am tired and I am confusing myself.
Today we practised without [bassist] Cathy. It was not a fulfilling rehearsal. We drank in The Office afterwards, frustrated. We played some pool and I left, determined to achieve something – I don’t know what. Christine and I tried to buy some heroin, but it seems at this stage that we’ve failed. She ___ ___ as we watched TV with Troy.
I completed a crossword, but faked two words.
I’m considering using the World Series Cricket theme in the group. The melody, though, is hard to figure out …
*
What a marvellous idea …
At least it seemed to be at the time and, who knows, maybe it was? Gus, the best technical musician in the band, sorted out the notes and, for at least a year, the Ears opened their set with a highly orchestrated cover of Channel Nine’s theme for the Wide World of Sport. It did seem cool, somehow.
In this period, I had cultivated at least half the kitchen with a ‘film jungle’. Strips of 35mm film hung thickly from the ceiling like vines. It was a good effect, if I remember correctly. You could sit at the kitchen table and examine frames by staring through them at the light …
George - my best friend in secret craziness – was always my partner in projects like this. He was, at that stage, a photographer, and his maxim was – if you get enough of a thing, it’s going to always look good. We collected a lot of a lot of things. Cats, kitchen chairs, roast chickens… In crimson, we painted the word ‘photo’ on the ceiling in Milton St so many times, it did, indeed, look good. But I’ll talk about George in a later post …
The Office was a pub across the road from Gus Till’s house, in the basement of which we rehearsed. Gus's was a double storey terrace that has long since disappeared under a widening Punt Rd. The Office has transmuted into a Seven-Eleven.
One last note. Though there’s much mention of heroin, it was still a recreational thing for most of us. We were innocents. The real slaughter was yet to come.
Diary of 1981 - index
Upshot is, I’m going to blank out some ‘sensitive’ passages. Use your imagination…
I’ve also corrected some uses of uncouth US spelling.
This second diary entry was made late on the same day as the first.
*
And so I rush to the kitchen and frantically paint, feverishly adding to my film jungle, not daring to stop and think what else I could be doing – what other constructions I could be involved in – forever thinking of phrases to supplement this diary.
I don't think this cataloguing of myself is self-indulgent. I take far too little time, of late, to examine my actions. The diary will hopefully help me keep an eye on myself – rejuvenate my hold on myself, my vision of myself.
Or is that all passed now, with my adolescence? I suspect it may be, though I cannot be sure.
My memory for instance. Once, when I fashioned a sentence... I cannot remember having the trouble I have now of forgetting how the terrible thing began as I came to its conclusion…
Grammer! There must be something wrong...
As my group [The Ears] becomes more recognised, so do I. And in this way I learn to recognise myself... Again, after first I lost my dignity... my self-esteem... when I bared my naivety to those naïve faces... But only music. Not even that, I suppose…
[? The above paragraph may refer to some event my earlier self was so embarrassed by he could not bear to put it into words.]
I am tired and I am confusing myself.
Today we practised without [bassist] Cathy. It was not a fulfilling rehearsal. We drank in The Office afterwards, frustrated. We played some pool and I left, determined to achieve something – I don’t know what. Christine and I tried to buy some heroin, but it seems at this stage that we’ve failed. She ___ ___ as we watched TV with Troy.
I completed a crossword, but faked two words.
I’m considering using the World Series Cricket theme in the group. The melody, though, is hard to figure out …
*
What a marvellous idea …
At least it seemed to be at the time and, who knows, maybe it was? Gus, the best technical musician in the band, sorted out the notes and, for at least a year, the Ears opened their set with a highly orchestrated cover of Channel Nine’s theme for the Wide World of Sport. It did seem cool, somehow.
In this period, I had cultivated at least half the kitchen with a ‘film jungle’. Strips of 35mm film hung thickly from the ceiling like vines. It was a good effect, if I remember correctly. You could sit at the kitchen table and examine frames by staring through them at the light …
George - my best friend in secret craziness – was always my partner in projects like this. He was, at that stage, a photographer, and his maxim was – if you get enough of a thing, it’s going to always look good. We collected a lot of a lot of things. Cats, kitchen chairs, roast chickens… In crimson, we painted the word ‘photo’ on the ceiling in Milton St so many times, it did, indeed, look good. But I’ll talk about George in a later post …
The Office was a pub across the road from Gus Till’s house, in the basement of which we rehearsed. Gus's was a double storey terrace that has long since disappeared under a widening Punt Rd. The Office has transmuted into a Seven-Eleven.
One last note. Though there’s much mention of heroin, it was still a recreational thing for most of us. We were innocents. The real slaughter was yet to come.
Diary of 1981 - index
5 comments:
I love the "film jungle" idea Sam, very eighties!!. I really enjoy reading about your early days in the music scene, back when it was all really exciting and so many new bands were playing around Melbourne. It's interesting reading the details you have in your diary about old pubs, buildings, houses, etc that don't exist anymore. Sometimes when I'm in St Kilda, I can't believe how it's changed so much in just 25 years. I'd love to read about the days you played at Crystal/Seaview Ballroom, the (old) Prince of Wales, and other divey joints you used to hang out in. I'm sure your friend Troy would have gone to the Whisky A Go Go (I think that's what it was called), there were a few clubs along that strip where the flashy bathes are now I think. (I'd like to know what you think of that place!!)
Love Amanda
My imaginations in good working order, dont worry. Im interested at the way you analyzed yourself so much. The "film jungle" :) Remember the chaos you could create with cassette tape? Kids these days dont know what they're missing. Like A Im loving these diary flashbacks but for the war stories I just hide under a blanket, and peek over the top. Thanks for sharing Sam. Oh yeah, cant fathom why you would choose the World Series Cricket theme of all things, but its kind of funny. Were the cats dead or alive?
x
ps wheres a digital camera when you need one?!
i think i remember that cricket theme. god knows why. i never liked cricket
Let me see ... the cats were alive... it's a good story too, but I'll save it for another time ...
Sorry about the 'war stories', but I guess that's one of my basic reasons for writing this blog. Helps keep me sane to have somewhere to let it out ...
Was it that "C'mon Aussie" song or was it just the pounding theme music at the start of the telecast?
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