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Monday, November 3, 2008

~ serpentine dream theory

Southland Tales: the newish film by Richard Kelly, [Donnie Darko]. It’s very entertaining, a sprawling futuristic comedy not unlike Idiocracy; more vaudeville than high art, and different in nature to Kelly’s previous film.

I mention it because of a seemingly casual reference made to the ‘self-destruct switch’ of an SUV.

An interesting idea, no? It flows with the essence of the device, does it not? Fictional spacecraft tend to be fitted with them. And I’m sure the driver of, say, a Hummer would think it was right on ... the power to annihilate himself in an exploding ball of fire ... right there, at his fingertips ...

Rather than mandate it, authorities would automatically frown on such a thing. Too much collateral damage for a start. But if we are capable, as a society, of inviting such monstrous devices into our streets, then surely the sight of them detonating should not appall us that much? In a frightening greenhouse future, things that may once have seemed shocking may become commonplace. It’s just a question of emotional perspective.

Like seat-belts and air-bags, the self-destruct system would naturally have to pass stringent regulations and be of the highest quality manufacture – yet it’s still difficult to see how extraneous damage to other vehicles, infrastructure, onlookers [and their emotions] would ever be avoided.

Does this kill the idea? I don’t think so. Designated zones might be created, even thunderous death arenas; but my instinct is that a high percentage of self-annihilators will be acting on the spur of the moment - and the world would not want to lose those precious seconds in which a noxious parasite was prepared to voluntarily wipe itself from the face of the Earth.

What we require is implosion, rather than explosion. In a necessary riot of harmless light and sound, the vehicle would safely crumple in upon itself, leaving a small recyclable cube or sphere. Crumple zones are already incorporated into car design, they just need more development.

The SD switch, required by law for all personal vehicles over a certain weight and fuel consumption.

Southland Tales also mentions something called Serpentine Dream Theory. Whatever it is – and the explanation just washed over me - it could never be as good as it sounds.

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9 comments:

NickH said...

Sam, I have often observed with chagrin the bully-like presence of SUVs on the street opposite the local cafe I frequent most days. Why do people buy such monstrosities? It can only explained by that other scourge: the craving for "status". Thankfully though they are not taking them out into the wilderness as they are ostensibly stylised for.

Surely they could be equipped with some kind of titanium sound-proofing structure – similar to a roll cage – which would prevent not only the noise of the driver's implosion from disturbing people from their morning coffee, but also contain the force of the havoc from impinging upon the rest of society.

Crumpling as you describe it should be patented, pronto! How easy it would then be for a tilt truck to be loaded up with the tiny boxes early on Monday mornings, for recycling?

mel said...

I wonder if serpentine dream theory is a reference to reptiles that get mentioned a lot in illuminati exchanges....
or rainbow serpent?

mel said...

An SD for SUVs would wipe out their potential to be Shelters for Unemployed Vagrants. Recycle the SUV, don't SD the SUV!

Fridge Magnet said...

There should also be a function which uploads these events to YouTube - an added attraction for the wannabies.

While we're here, can we declare open season on jetskis? The duck hunters (and Sarah, after Tues) need something to aim at.

The Knitting Songbird said...

Now, I'm not sure what the case is in Australia, haven't lived there in a while. But in Croatia, we say the bigger the car the smaller the...well, you know what. Could maybe a job on the johnny be the answer to getting rid of all the SUVs on the road?

Sam Sejavka said...

The morning pick-up of imploded SUVs. That's my dream future. If they were spheres, they could have little indestructible GPS gadgets inside which direct them to roll towards the nearest recycling plant. You could watch them pass as you drink your morning coffee, NickH.

Mel, this is the movie's explanation: 'The project was called Serpentine Dream Theory. The tidal generator within Utopia 3 has achieved simulated perpetual motion. The impact of this achievement has slowed the acceleration of the planet to such a degree that certain environmental anomalies have started to surface.'

I'd prefer an explanation more along your lines.

Sam Sejavka said...

Jetskis, definitely! If designed correctly, the remains might provide a good structure for coral formation.

Sam Sejavka said...

Nice to hear from you Knitting Songbird. 'L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux' D'accord.

The Knitting Songbird said...

Me mate Ross got me onto your blog and it's been a great read. I now go for a walk with my 18 month babe in arms and involuntarily start laughing out loud thinking about something you've written.

And yeah, that Little Prince fella was definitely onto something...